As We Go Along - Ch. 1

"My sister is a little strange. She never lets her own shadow cross a darker shadow when she can help it, or else the darker shadow will 'absorb her.' She thinks evil things lurk in darkness, so she won't leave her closet door open at night, even though she's eighteen and claims not to be afraid of the dark anymore. She thinks raven are good omens, 'guardian spirits,' but crows are Madeleine L'Engle's ecthroi."

My brother wrote this as the opening paragraph of a school paper on superstition. All of it is exaggerated and the part about shadows is plain not true. That was just a game we played when we were little.

It's true that evil lurks in darkness, though. My dad doesn't understand and says I'm irrational. My mom doesn't understand and says I'm a romantic. My brother doesn't understand and thinks I'm insane.

I'll point out that I'm not afraid of the dark; I'm afraid of what hides in the dark. Dark is lovely if one is stargazing or trying to sleep. But I don't like to move about in it unaided by light, and not just because I'll trip on something.

There are places where the darkness is thicker and blacker. Places the air is less breathable. There are sounds that no man, animal, or machine has ever made, but I hear them. There is a chill and dread that cannot be logically explained.

Hence, my brother thinks I'm a psych case. My mother, a psychologist, says I'm not, I'm just taking longer to grow out of my childhood beliefs. (I'm paraphrasing.) My friends think I've read too many fairytales. There's no such thing as magic or dragons or unicorns, they say. No fairies or spirits or "haunted" forests or forbidden fruits. 

My teachers tell me to get out of my head and into reality. My English teacher is tired of compositions that start "Once upon a time" and feature valiant heroes and damsels in distress. She's tired of "happily-ever-afters."

In the real world, Madalyn, the heroes are flawed and sometimes there's no happy ending.

But my friends and teachers tolerate me, even though, unlike my family, they don't have to. Who doesn't love a good story? Who doesn't aspire to be like those lion-hearted heroes? Who doesn't secretly yearn for happy endings?